As many of you who follow me on the blog I have 2 boys and a girl, all below the ages of 10 and whilst they can be handful at times, the truth is that they are all really well behaved and I am very fortunate for that. One thing which I have always noticed, since a very young age, is that boys are pretty rough when they play. At first I mistook this for aggression or that my boys were trying to communicate something which they couldn’t, but as the years have gone on I have realized that in reality they are just naturally pretty rough, and my poor daughter is very often on the receiving end of that.

I think that in reality my daughter will experience a benefit from this in later years, as she toughens up in order to deal with her boisterous brothers, but what is it about boys that makes them play so rough?


It’s quite scary to think that this happens to boys so young but the fact of the matter is that they are rough because they are aiming to assert some level of dominance. Now at such a young age the boy is compelled by the makeup of their genes to look to be dominant, but of course their mind is not formed in such a way that they will look to really enforce that level of dominance, so the result is just rough play with no real conclusion in mind.


Very often boys just do not know their own strength and that is often something which results in some rough play. Now when it is boy versus boy, this of course isn’t something that we recognize straight away, but when I see my son and my daughter playing, it is clear that although she is older, he is the stronger one, yet he just doesn’t quite realize it. Another aspect of why boys play rough is that these muscles are growing and they have energy that they just don’t know where to put, so they end up flexing a little more during play.


Boys are also very well known for testing their limits, as any parent of a son will tell you, and this is also something which results in rough play. Boys want to know how much pain they can give or take, how far they can push things and what their limits are. Again this is something which manifests itself through play and that is why so many boys g a little too far when they are supposed to be playing.

We have to remember that for kids, play time is not about just having fun, this is where they learn about who they are and who others are, it is where they problem solve and it is how they communicate with others, it is a vital aspect of their lives.

Next time that your boy gets a bit rough, bear all of this in mind.

Lauren Sanchez - Author

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